They say having a kid changes everything ... before that kid arrives that sounds ... like it sounds. There is no way you can translate that feeling to someone until they have the cement shoes on of motherhood (and I say that endearingly)! Before I became a mother myself, I remember being annoyed at my sister (mother of two) telling me "just you wait ... !"
Trying to balance feeling productive, being a supportive wife and good mother is often OVERWHELMING to say the least! I was seeking something to do that would deliver the feeling of accomplishment, be mentally stimulating, provide adult conversation/interaction AND give me a break in the day from the never-ending cycle of dirty clothes, dishes, diapers and dog poo ... perhaps I'm asking for too much???
One day, while browsing LinkedIn, I noticed a posting announcing a job that pre-motherhood, would have been a dream opportunity for me. I applied and was hired! Challenge & mental stimulation ... CHECK! Adult Interaction ... CHECK! The ability to manage home and full-time work ... FAIL! Two weeks in I found myself busting out in tears (twice in the second week) for no reason what-so-ever! I simply knew this wasn't working - it felt wrong in so many ways! Still not sleeping for a consecutive 7/8 hours a night since my nugget arrived was causing complete exhaustion. Exhaustion is LITERALLY a killer! and it HURTS. It causes terrible side effects including: depression; impairs judgement; forgetfulness; anxiety; and on and on! I was experiencing all listed side effects and more! ENOUGH.
I know so many women that work full time and have young kids ... seriously, HOW DO THEY DO IT? Could I be a complete wimp? Definitely a possibility, but I don't think so ... These women make it look so easy ... I've got to be missing something ...
While attending a local women in business luncheon, the key note was the President of her family business and was talking about leadership, her role, the usual and then she touched upon being a mother of 4. She also said she regularly missed school functions, sporting events, and so on, due to the demands of her work responsibilities.
There it is! FINALLY some truth. I'm so sick of women painting this glamorous picture of work and motherhood with such ease. We are only hurting ourselves by not sharing the detail on HOW to balance work and home. WHAT EXACTLY does that support system look like ex. nannies, house cleaners, etc. Let's be realistic there is only 24 hours in everyone's day ... unless that's the part I am missing ... WINK! This was the FIRST time I've heard the acknowledgement of a sacrifice being made.
And then right then, I began thinking about what sacrifices I was willing to make with regards to my time spent with family to pursue things outside of my role as mother and wife. For me, the easiest thing to do was to start backwards ... What did I want my home life to look like? What did I want to be present for and what things/times was I willing to give up/share. I dialed that in and then sat back and enjoyed my boy. I took the summer off and Ivan and I spent our days feeding giraffe's, catching butterflies, playing in parks and frequenting the pool. We took a road trip to NYC to visit Aunt Emilee and enjoyed our time. That fall (Ivan was approx. 20 months), a seemingly perfect work situation presented itself and I've been balancing home and work with much more ease.
There are still so many challenges surrounding the fine tuning of my work/life balance, but for the most part, I'm enjoying HAVING IT ALL!
