Hiring a Babysitter or Nanny

FINDING A NANNY OR BABYSITTER
There are pockets of care givers just waiting to be found, you just have to find them!  Check for websites/services such as www.Care.com or www.SittingMadeSimple.com.  We have used both, I find Care.com to be a much more daunting process, and have only used for long-term Nanny or consistent babysitters, due to the amount of people to sift through.  In limited markets, Sitting Made Simple is available.  This was not my first choice before Ivan could talk, because you do not meet the sitter prior to the appointment!  They have a registration fee, and then you pay the service per appointment you book.  Once you request a day/time, a listing of available care givers populates.  You then choose who you’d like to request.  At this time, you are able to see a headshot and read a brief bio of the care giver that includes age, what they are studying (all have been college students that I have seen), where they are from, etc.  Then the chosen care giver accepts the appointment and you get a notification that “Sally” will be at your home on the requested day/time.  This service has been AMAZING in a pinch.  One of the steady, full-time Nannies we hired ended up flaking out and it was a slow but predictable thing to watch!  Realizing she wouldn’t be showing up the next day, I called Sitting Made Simple and for a $25 fee they had an excellent gal over the next day so I could keep my work commitments.  Through Sitting Made Simple, you pay the caregivers directly.  I've been very happy with all of our Sitting Made Simple sitters!  

Ask other Mom’s in your area how they found/find their sitters.  It’s always nice to have a few in your back pocket for a date night or in a pinch!  Facebook also has some area/neighborhood babysitter pages that I have had success with.  The current gal we consistently use was found this way.  I made sure to give her all the cons to the job right up front!    

SETTING EXPECTATIONS
Just like when dating, it’s always best to share any hang-ups or expectations you might have upfront!  This can be tricky on your first hire or two, because you might not know what will make you uncomfortable until you encounter it!  Over time, I compiled a list that I give at our first or second communication – I like to share this prior to the first face-to-face meeting so they can bail if I’m too crazy out of the shoot for them! 

I also like to stress that it is very important to me that they be comfortable – after all, you are leaving them in your house with your child!  Not only do you need to be able to trust them, but they need to be comfortable to ensure your child’s mental and physical safety!

MY CRAZY MOM LIST FOR BABYSITTERS:

• No McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King, Taco Bell or other fast food in the house or around Ivan
• No friends/boyfriends/girlfriends while with Ivan (without clearing with Melissa) … including meeting a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend at a park or other location
• No leaving Ivan alone – leaving the house while he’s napping, leaving him in car to run into store or gas station, etc.  He must be an arm’s length away (unless he’s asleep at all times)
• No perfume or fragranced lotions
• Phone use (texting, social media, etc) should only be for emergencies or to communicate with me (During naptime, phone use is permitted)
• If leaving the house (I don’t care if it’s to walk around the block) I’d like a text that you are leaving, where you are going & another text when you arrive home
• Everyone’s hands get washed when entering the house, after using the restroom and before eating

Childcare :: Choosing a Daycare and Hiring a Babysitter

Childcare has been the most complicated, or shall I say worst thing about Motherhood for me!  My family being a 2-hr drive away is nice for visits, but doesn’t lend itself to helping with last minute emergencies or just plain babysitting.  We have tried a combination of solutions and have learned a few things along the way … perhaps you can shorten your learning curve from our journey!

Things to consider when choosing a Daycare
(I’m already ASSuming you are at a licensed, reputable center where staff is
First Aid & CPR certified and the building meets State safety requirements)

Food - This and sleep being over looked are my #1 pet peeve and biggest concerns for Ivan thus far.  Their little brains are growing so much and in such a short amount of time that what they eat and how frequently on top of rest is imperative. 

• Do they allow and encourage you to bring in breast milk?  If so, how do they store it and warm it?  
• How are dietary restrictions handled?  Tree nut policy?  Luckily we don’t have any tree nut allergies!  This one gets me though – Our current school doesn’t allow tree nuts of any kind for safety, and this definitely limits healthy fat sources I can provide Ivan with, that he would actually eat at school.
• Do they wash hands before eating?

Sleep -  I already explained my view on sleep!  Lucky for me, I also have a great napper!!

• Do they have quiet/dark sleeping area? 
• What’s the sleeping schedule & policy?  Can babies sleep on their schedule, or does the room have its schedule?  When Ivan was under 1 year, the room he was in napped 2x a day, which was the schedule he was already on.  They also would accommodate additional sleeping needs if needed. 
• Does each child have the same crib the whole week, or do they share?
• Who provides and cleans bedding? 
• Do they play music or use a sound machine?  Ivan’s daycare used a sound machine – same one that was in the stuffed bear at Buy Buy Baby, so we replicated that at home.  He now sleeps with a sound machine at home, and seems to sleep better and maybe even longer when it’s on.

Happiness

• Upon entering and during your visit, do the employees seem friendly and happy?
• Do the babies/kids look happy?
• Are the teachers interacting with small children on the floor/at their level? 

Diapering & Toilet training – We went from in home sitters --> daycare --> in home sitter --> to stay-at-home Mom at the time Ivan was ready to begin potty training.  We were also noticing that he needed the social interaction daycare provides, so enrolled him for a few hours 3 days a week.  Once I realized they were on a potty training mission, we began M-F in the mornings.  All they did was pee every 20-30 min.  The teacher had a clip board and she was on a mission to potty train the room and SHE DID!  It was amazing and potty training went so much more smoothly than I was expecting.  Because everyone was doing it, it was Ivan’s idea, ‘hey, this is fun to stand and pee’ … getting #2 into the toilet was a different story ;)

• How frequently do they change diapers? 
• Do they toilet/potty train?  If so, How & When?
• What is the cleaning & handwashing policy around all potty and diaper activities?

Space

• Do the babies have room to crawl and move around? 
• Is there outdoor playtime and/or walks? 
• Do things have a place, is the room organized?

• Are there hard & soft surfaces for babies/toddlers with variety of textures?

Communication - I linger … Linger at drop off, linger at pick up and observe.  Having a flexible schedule lends itself to this behavior.  I have found if I spend 5-10 min a day in the room, I can get a sense of what is going on.  How the kids and teacher interact and send the message loud and clear, I’m here – watching!

• Does the school have an open-door policy? We’ve been to a school that requires an appointment to observe, while all others allow you to come in as frequently as you’d like. Ivan’s current Pre-K school has 2-way mirrors on the classroom doors, so you can watch without disrupting.
• What does the daily check list look like?  It should include times of feedings, diapering’s, mood, activities, times of naps and if there is anything you need to bring, such as diapers.
• Respect is taught by showing respect – Does staff uses children’s names when communicating?
• How do they show respect other cultures, etc.?
• Do they send daily pictures? A friend’s program sends her text messages with photo’s during the day, and another friends school has an app that they post updates and photos of during the day.

Learning & Development – Make sure programs include opportunities for physical, intellectual, problem-solving and communication skill-building.

• Are toys age appropriate and easy to get to and organized? 
• How often are the switched out for variety? 
• Do they do art projects?
• What sensory activities do they do?  (Water play, playdough, packing bubbles, etc.)
• You are looking for a balance of daily activities (these should be included on your daily report) 
• Do they encourage exploration & problem solving, how? 
• Do they give children choices of activities? 
• Do they read to children?  Are books available?  They should be even in infant and toddler rooms
• Music and singing?

Conflict & Discipline – Ask the teacher (and person giving you the tour):

• How conflicts are resolved in the classroom, such as toddlers fighting over a toy?  "MINE" is very popular in the toddler room!
• Do they do time-outs?
• How do they handle hitting?
• How do they handle a child that is excessively crying?

Cleanliness – Use your eyes & nose!  Check out the restroom that’s available for you while there!

• What is diapering table cleaning policy? 
• How frequently are the toys/room cleaned? 
• Hand washing policy – I like everyone, teachers and students, to wash hands upon entering the room!
• Do they have a special protocol if there is an outbreak such as pink eye, hand-foot-mouth disease, or someone throws up?  State law requires them to post a notice if/when a contagious outbreak happens.  And they will!

Staff – Make sure to meet and observe the classroom head teacher on your visit. How long have they been there? How is turnover?

• Current credentials? How do they remain current about childcare/child development and how this adds to the center
• Do they come across as being passionate about working with kids?

Sick policy

• Will they administer medicine if needed? 
• What is the sick policy, when do they have to go home? 

Location  - How close to your home/work?

I definitely recommend spending as much time as possible at the daycare you are considering. Do they have a Facebook page? If so, check out the reviews, and even reach out to other parents that seem to be active on the FB page!

ITEMS YOU CAN EXPECT TO LEAVE AT DAYCARE

•  Any medication & sunscreen (gas drops, diaper cream, etc.)
• Diapers & Wipes
• Naptime blanket (bedding sheets)
• Change(s) of clothes
• Hat

ITEMS YOU LIKELY BRING DAILY

• Breast milk/formula
• Pacifier(s)

Why Didn't I Think Of This Sooner?!

See how inviting that looks?!  No toys ... serenity!!!  Photo compliments of Emilee Ramsier Photography

Putting myself at the bottom of the priority list is something I have successfully learned from my Mother.  It’s also the thing about her that bothers me the most … imagine that!!  Since school has just started (and we are now in full day Pre-K, Yay!) I decided I would take a short little trip to visit my sister in Atlanta.  Being the fabulous freelance photographer that she is, a job popped up at the exact time as my visit, so it got postponed!  Not wanting to waste a babysitter all lined up (to pick up from school), I made the executive decision to book a hotel room for myself and check out of Motherhood/Wifehood for 12 hours!  What a genius decision!!

Posting up at a brand new local hotel was just what the doctor ordered!  I ate dinner alone, watched a movie in my room alone, slept in and even got some work done!  Much needed headspace.  Upon re-entering my life, I found everyone was alive and well … actually thriving.  It was nice to realize my Husband was capable of making the bed AND he ACTUALLY knows where the dishwasher is and how it works!!

Next time, I am thinking a little more time, and being further away might be a better way to unplug and recharge … ocean waves … feel me? 

A little perspective always does everyone good!

Congratulations ... YOU'RE HIRED! How the heck can a mother have it all ....

They say having a kid changes everything ... before that kid arrives that sounds ... like it sounds.  There is no way you can translate that feeling to someone until they have the cement shoes on of motherhood (and I say that endearingly)!  Before I became a mother myself, I remember being annoyed at my sister (mother of two) telling me "just you wait ... !"

Trying to balance feeling productive, being a supportive wife and good mother is often OVERWHELMING to say the least!  I was seeking something to do that would deliver the feeling of accomplishment, be mentally stimulating, provide adult conversation/interaction AND give me a break in the day from the never-ending cycle of dirty clothes, dishes, diapers and dog poo ... perhaps I'm asking for too much???

One day, while browsing LinkedIn, I noticed a posting announcing a job that pre-motherhood, would have been a dream opportunity for me.  I applied and was hired!  Challenge & mental stimulation ... CHECK!  Adult Interaction ... CHECK!  The ability to manage home and full-time work ... FAIL!  Two weeks in I found myself busting out in tears (twice in the second week) for no reason what-so-ever!  I simply knew this wasn't working - it felt wrong in so many ways!  Still not sleeping for a consecutive 7/8 hours a night since my nugget arrived was causing complete exhaustion.  Exhaustion is LITERALLY a killer!  and it HURTS.  It causes terrible side effects including: depression; impairs judgement; forgetfulness; anxiety; and on and on!  I was experiencing all listed side effects and more!  ENOUGH.

I know so many women that work full time and have young kids ... seriously, HOW DO THEY DO IT?  Could I be a complete wimp?  Definitely a possibility, but I don't think so ... These women make it look so easy ... I've got to be missing something ...  

While attending a local women in business luncheon, the key note was the President of her family business and was talking about leadership, her role, the usual and then she touched upon being a mother of 4.  She also said she regularly missed school functions, sporting events, and so on, due to the demands of her work responsibilities.

There it is!  FINALLY some truth.  I'm so sick of women painting this glamorous picture of work and motherhood with such ease.  We are only hurting ourselves by not sharing the detail on HOW to balance work and home.  WHAT EXACTLY does that support system look like ex. nannies, house cleaners, etc.  Let's be realistic there is only 24 hours in everyone's day ... unless that's the part I am missing ... WINK!  This was the FIRST time I've heard the acknowledgement of a sacrifice being made. 

And then right then, I began thinking about what sacrifices I was willing to make with regards to my time spent with family to pursue things outside of my role as mother and wife.  For me, the easiest thing to do was to start backwards ... What did I want my home life to look like?  What did I want to be present for and what things/times was I willing to give up/share.  I dialed that in and then sat back and enjoyed my boy.  I took the summer off and Ivan and I spent our days feeding giraffe's, catching butterflies, playing in parks and frequenting the pool.  We took a road trip to NYC to visit Aunt Emilee and enjoyed our time.  That fall (Ivan was approx. 20 months), a seemingly perfect work situation presented itself and I've been balancing home and work with much more ease. 

There are still so many challenges surrounding the fine tuning of my work/life balance, but for the most part, I'm enjoying HAVING IT ALL!

Ivan and Isabelle ...

Hakuna Matata, C'est la vie!

I’ve heard other Mother’s explain this feeling exactly the same way (and have been slightly annoyed at how cliché it sounds) … “each phase my child enters - every stage and age - just gets better and better”. 

How can that be!? 

I look at elementary school aged kids and think, my 22 month old is so much more fun than you are!  Not long ago, I looked at my 6 month old and thought he was at such a better stage than that two year old across the room that was scaling the walls and screaming!

Or maybe it’s that every phase has its challenges so we welcome the next one with open arms!  Change IS good!  I’m so happy that the phase we are in, is the BEST one there is.  It means there are sunnier days ahead, ALWAYS.  And most importantly, LIFE IS GOOD.

Anything that goes "Brummm BRUMM" is of interest to Mr. Ivan!  This is the Jeep just past the giraffe exhibit in Africa at the Columbus Zoo