Why Didn't I Think Of This Sooner?!

See how inviting that looks?!  No toys ... serenity!!!  Photo compliments of Emilee Ramsier Photography

Putting myself at the bottom of the priority list is something I have successfully learned from my Mother.  It’s also the thing about her that bothers me the most … imagine that!!  Since school has just started (and we are now in full day Pre-K, Yay!) I decided I would take a short little trip to visit my sister in Atlanta.  Being the fabulous freelance photographer that she is, a job popped up at the exact time as my visit, so it got postponed!  Not wanting to waste a babysitter all lined up (to pick up from school), I made the executive decision to book a hotel room for myself and check out of Motherhood/Wifehood for 12 hours!  What a genius decision!!

Posting up at a brand new local hotel was just what the doctor ordered!  I ate dinner alone, watched a movie in my room alone, slept in and even got some work done!  Much needed headspace.  Upon re-entering my life, I found everyone was alive and well … actually thriving.  It was nice to realize my Husband was capable of making the bed AND he ACTUALLY knows where the dishwasher is and how it works!!

Next time, I am thinking a little more time, and being further away might be a better way to unplug and recharge … ocean waves … feel me? 

A little perspective always does everyone good!

Congratulations ... YOU'RE HIRED! How the heck can a mother have it all ....

They say having a kid changes everything ... before that kid arrives that sounds ... like it sounds.  There is no way you can translate that feeling to someone until they have the cement shoes on of motherhood (and I say that endearingly)!  Before I became a mother myself, I remember being annoyed at my sister (mother of two) telling me "just you wait ... !"

Trying to balance feeling productive, being a supportive wife and good mother is often OVERWHELMING to say the least!  I was seeking something to do that would deliver the feeling of accomplishment, be mentally stimulating, provide adult conversation/interaction AND give me a break in the day from the never-ending cycle of dirty clothes, dishes, diapers and dog poo ... perhaps I'm asking for too much???

One day, while browsing LinkedIn, I noticed a posting announcing a job that pre-motherhood, would have been a dream opportunity for me.  I applied and was hired!  Challenge & mental stimulation ... CHECK!  Adult Interaction ... CHECK!  The ability to manage home and full-time work ... FAIL!  Two weeks in I found myself busting out in tears (twice in the second week) for no reason what-so-ever!  I simply knew this wasn't working - it felt wrong in so many ways!  Still not sleeping for a consecutive 7/8 hours a night since my nugget arrived was causing complete exhaustion.  Exhaustion is LITERALLY a killer!  and it HURTS.  It causes terrible side effects including: depression; impairs judgement; forgetfulness; anxiety; and on and on!  I was experiencing all listed side effects and more!  ENOUGH.

I know so many women that work full time and have young kids ... seriously, HOW DO THEY DO IT?  Could I be a complete wimp?  Definitely a possibility, but I don't think so ... These women make it look so easy ... I've got to be missing something ...  

While attending a local women in business luncheon, the key note was the President of her family business and was talking about leadership, her role, the usual and then she touched upon being a mother of 4.  She also said she regularly missed school functions, sporting events, and so on, due to the demands of her work responsibilities.

There it is!  FINALLY some truth.  I'm so sick of women painting this glamorous picture of work and motherhood with such ease.  We are only hurting ourselves by not sharing the detail on HOW to balance work and home.  WHAT EXACTLY does that support system look like ex. nannies, house cleaners, etc.  Let's be realistic there is only 24 hours in everyone's day ... unless that's the part I am missing ... WINK!  This was the FIRST time I've heard the acknowledgement of a sacrifice being made. 

And then right then, I began thinking about what sacrifices I was willing to make with regards to my time spent with family to pursue things outside of my role as mother and wife.  For me, the easiest thing to do was to start backwards ... What did I want my home life to look like?  What did I want to be present for and what things/times was I willing to give up/share.  I dialed that in and then sat back and enjoyed my boy.  I took the summer off and Ivan and I spent our days feeding giraffe's, catching butterflies, playing in parks and frequenting the pool.  We took a road trip to NYC to visit Aunt Emilee and enjoyed our time.  That fall (Ivan was approx. 20 months), a seemingly perfect work situation presented itself and I've been balancing home and work with much more ease. 

There are still so many challenges surrounding the fine tuning of my work/life balance, but for the most part, I'm enjoying HAVING IT ALL!

Ivan and Isabelle ...

Hakuna Matata, C'est la vie!

I’ve heard other Mother’s explain this feeling exactly the same way (and have been slightly annoyed at how cliché it sounds) … “each phase my child enters - every stage and age - just gets better and better”. 

How can that be!? 

I look at elementary school aged kids and think, my 22 month old is so much more fun than you are!  Not long ago, I looked at my 6 month old and thought he was at such a better stage than that two year old across the room that was scaling the walls and screaming!

Or maybe it’s that every phase has its challenges so we welcome the next one with open arms!  Change IS good!  I’m so happy that the phase we are in, is the BEST one there is.  It means there are sunnier days ahead, ALWAYS.  And most importantly, LIFE IS GOOD.

Anything that goes "Brummm BRUMM" is of interest to Mr. Ivan!  This is the Jeep just past the giraffe exhibit in Africa at the Columbus Zoo