Hiring a Babysitter or Nanny

FINDING A NANNY OR BABYSITTER
There are pockets of care givers just waiting to be found, you just have to find them!  Check for websites/services such as www.Care.com or www.SittingMadeSimple.com.  We have used both, I find Care.com to be a much more daunting process, and have only used for long-term Nanny or consistent babysitters, due to the amount of people to sift through.  In limited markets, Sitting Made Simple is available.  This was not my first choice before Ivan could talk, because you do not meet the sitter prior to the appointment!  They have a registration fee, and then you pay the service per appointment you book.  Once you request a day/time, a listing of available care givers populates.  You then choose who you’d like to request.  At this time, you are able to see a headshot and read a brief bio of the care giver that includes age, what they are studying (all have been college students that I have seen), where they are from, etc.  Then the chosen care giver accepts the appointment and you get a notification that “Sally” will be at your home on the requested day/time.  This service has been AMAZING in a pinch.  One of the steady, full-time Nannies we hired ended up flaking out and it was a slow but predictable thing to watch!  Realizing she wouldn’t be showing up the next day, I called Sitting Made Simple and for a $25 fee they had an excellent gal over the next day so I could keep my work commitments.  Through Sitting Made Simple, you pay the caregivers directly.  I've been very happy with all of our Sitting Made Simple sitters!  

Ask other Mom’s in your area how they found/find their sitters.  It’s always nice to have a few in your back pocket for a date night or in a pinch!  Facebook also has some area/neighborhood babysitter pages that I have had success with.  The current gal we consistently use was found this way.  I made sure to give her all the cons to the job right up front!    

SETTING EXPECTATIONS
Just like when dating, it’s always best to share any hang-ups or expectations you might have upfront!  This can be tricky on your first hire or two, because you might not know what will make you uncomfortable until you encounter it!  Over time, I compiled a list that I give at our first or second communication – I like to share this prior to the first face-to-face meeting so they can bail if I’m too crazy out of the shoot for them! 

I also like to stress that it is very important to me that they be comfortable – after all, you are leaving them in your house with your child!  Not only do you need to be able to trust them, but they need to be comfortable to ensure your child’s mental and physical safety!

MY CRAZY MOM LIST FOR BABYSITTERS:

• No McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King, Taco Bell or other fast food in the house or around Ivan
• No friends/boyfriends/girlfriends while with Ivan (without clearing with Melissa) … including meeting a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend at a park or other location
• No leaving Ivan alone – leaving the house while he’s napping, leaving him in car to run into store or gas station, etc.  He must be an arm’s length away (unless he’s asleep at all times)
• No perfume or fragranced lotions
• Phone use (texting, social media, etc) should only be for emergencies or to communicate with me (During naptime, phone use is permitted)
• If leaving the house (I don’t care if it’s to walk around the block) I’d like a text that you are leaving, where you are going & another text when you arrive home
• Everyone’s hands get washed when entering the house, after using the restroom and before eating

Childcare :: Choosing a Daycare and Hiring a Babysitter

Childcare has been the most complicated, or shall I say worst thing about Motherhood for me!  My family being a 2-hr drive away is nice for visits, but doesn’t lend itself to helping with last minute emergencies or just plain babysitting.  We have tried a combination of solutions and have learned a few things along the way … perhaps you can shorten your learning curve from our journey!

Things to consider when choosing a Daycare
(I’m already ASSuming you are at a licensed, reputable center where staff is
First Aid & CPR certified and the building meets State safety requirements)

Food - This and sleep being over looked are my #1 pet peeve and biggest concerns for Ivan thus far.  Their little brains are growing so much and in such a short amount of time that what they eat and how frequently on top of rest is imperative. 

• Do they allow and encourage you to bring in breast milk?  If so, how do they store it and warm it?  
• How are dietary restrictions handled?  Tree nut policy?  Luckily we don’t have any tree nut allergies!  This one gets me though – Our current school doesn’t allow tree nuts of any kind for safety, and this definitely limits healthy fat sources I can provide Ivan with, that he would actually eat at school.
• Do they wash hands before eating?

Sleep -  I already explained my view on sleep!  Lucky for me, I also have a great napper!!

• Do they have quiet/dark sleeping area? 
• What’s the sleeping schedule & policy?  Can babies sleep on their schedule, or does the room have its schedule?  When Ivan was under 1 year, the room he was in napped 2x a day, which was the schedule he was already on.  They also would accommodate additional sleeping needs if needed. 
• Does each child have the same crib the whole week, or do they share?
• Who provides and cleans bedding? 
• Do they play music or use a sound machine?  Ivan’s daycare used a sound machine – same one that was in the stuffed bear at Buy Buy Baby, so we replicated that at home.  He now sleeps with a sound machine at home, and seems to sleep better and maybe even longer when it’s on.

Happiness

• Upon entering and during your visit, do the employees seem friendly and happy?
• Do the babies/kids look happy?
• Are the teachers interacting with small children on the floor/at their level? 

Diapering & Toilet training – We went from in home sitters --> daycare --> in home sitter --> to stay-at-home Mom at the time Ivan was ready to begin potty training.  We were also noticing that he needed the social interaction daycare provides, so enrolled him for a few hours 3 days a week.  Once I realized they were on a potty training mission, we began M-F in the mornings.  All they did was pee every 20-30 min.  The teacher had a clip board and she was on a mission to potty train the room and SHE DID!  It was amazing and potty training went so much more smoothly than I was expecting.  Because everyone was doing it, it was Ivan’s idea, ‘hey, this is fun to stand and pee’ … getting #2 into the toilet was a different story ;)

• How frequently do they change diapers? 
• Do they toilet/potty train?  If so, How & When?
• What is the cleaning & handwashing policy around all potty and diaper activities?

Space

• Do the babies have room to crawl and move around? 
• Is there outdoor playtime and/or walks? 
• Do things have a place, is the room organized?

• Are there hard & soft surfaces for babies/toddlers with variety of textures?

Communication - I linger … Linger at drop off, linger at pick up and observe.  Having a flexible schedule lends itself to this behavior.  I have found if I spend 5-10 min a day in the room, I can get a sense of what is going on.  How the kids and teacher interact and send the message loud and clear, I’m here – watching!

• Does the school have an open-door policy? We’ve been to a school that requires an appointment to observe, while all others allow you to come in as frequently as you’d like. Ivan’s current Pre-K school has 2-way mirrors on the classroom doors, so you can watch without disrupting.
• What does the daily check list look like?  It should include times of feedings, diapering’s, mood, activities, times of naps and if there is anything you need to bring, such as diapers.
• Respect is taught by showing respect – Does staff uses children’s names when communicating?
• How do they show respect other cultures, etc.?
• Do they send daily pictures? A friend’s program sends her text messages with photo’s during the day, and another friends school has an app that they post updates and photos of during the day.

Learning & Development – Make sure programs include opportunities for physical, intellectual, problem-solving and communication skill-building.

• Are toys age appropriate and easy to get to and organized? 
• How often are the switched out for variety? 
• Do they do art projects?
• What sensory activities do they do?  (Water play, playdough, packing bubbles, etc.)
• You are looking for a balance of daily activities (these should be included on your daily report) 
• Do they encourage exploration & problem solving, how? 
• Do they give children choices of activities? 
• Do they read to children?  Are books available?  They should be even in infant and toddler rooms
• Music and singing?

Conflict & Discipline – Ask the teacher (and person giving you the tour):

• How conflicts are resolved in the classroom, such as toddlers fighting over a toy?  "MINE" is very popular in the toddler room!
• Do they do time-outs?
• How do they handle hitting?
• How do they handle a child that is excessively crying?

Cleanliness – Use your eyes & nose!  Check out the restroom that’s available for you while there!

• What is diapering table cleaning policy? 
• How frequently are the toys/room cleaned? 
• Hand washing policy – I like everyone, teachers and students, to wash hands upon entering the room!
• Do they have a special protocol if there is an outbreak such as pink eye, hand-foot-mouth disease, or someone throws up?  State law requires them to post a notice if/when a contagious outbreak happens.  And they will!

Staff – Make sure to meet and observe the classroom head teacher on your visit. How long have they been there? How is turnover?

• Current credentials? How do they remain current about childcare/child development and how this adds to the center
• Do they come across as being passionate about working with kids?

Sick policy

• Will they administer medicine if needed? 
• What is the sick policy, when do they have to go home? 

Location  - How close to your home/work?

I definitely recommend spending as much time as possible at the daycare you are considering. Do they have a Facebook page? If so, check out the reviews, and even reach out to other parents that seem to be active on the FB page!

ITEMS YOU CAN EXPECT TO LEAVE AT DAYCARE

•  Any medication & sunscreen (gas drops, diaper cream, etc.)
• Diapers & Wipes
• Naptime blanket (bedding sheets)
• Change(s) of clothes
• Hat

ITEMS YOU LIKELY BRING DAILY

• Breast milk/formula
• Pacifier(s)

Why Didn't I Think Of This Sooner?!

See how inviting that looks?!  No toys ... serenity!!!  Photo compliments of Emilee Ramsier Photography

Putting myself at the bottom of the priority list is something I have successfully learned from my Mother.  It’s also the thing about her that bothers me the most … imagine that!!  Since school has just started (and we are now in full day Pre-K, Yay!) I decided I would take a short little trip to visit my sister in Atlanta.  Being the fabulous freelance photographer that she is, a job popped up at the exact time as my visit, so it got postponed!  Not wanting to waste a babysitter all lined up (to pick up from school), I made the executive decision to book a hotel room for myself and check out of Motherhood/Wifehood for 12 hours!  What a genius decision!!

Posting up at a brand new local hotel was just what the doctor ordered!  I ate dinner alone, watched a movie in my room alone, slept in and even got some work done!  Much needed headspace.  Upon re-entering my life, I found everyone was alive and well … actually thriving.  It was nice to realize my Husband was capable of making the bed AND he ACTUALLY knows where the dishwasher is and how it works!!

Next time, I am thinking a little more time, and being further away might be a better way to unplug and recharge … ocean waves … feel me? 

A little perspective always does everyone good!

Mother's Day LOVE

This year marks my third year celebrating Mother's Day!  It's been an amazing 2.5 joyous years of disrupted sleep, ear-to-ear smiles and a LOVE so BIG I could explode from time to time!

So many things have changed with Motherhood ... more than I could have digested being on the other side of giving birth!  It is true what they say ... it changes EVERYTHING!  The perspective I now have of Mothers has been eye opening.  I always knew how important Mom's were - I knew how truly LUCKY I was to come from generations of such LOVING, caring and nurturing Mothers/Grandmothers - but now to look around at the bi-products of amazing Mothers, it's beautiful to see what that LOVE can GROW.

Inspired by the street I grew up on, Letchworth Drive, some neighbors have helped me to conclude just how powerful the LOVE of a Mother can be.  At my childhood friend/neighbor (Adam's) Memorial Service, I could not help but to notice how truly exceptional he and his siblings were/are.  All full of LOVE & LIFE, gracious, patient and giving ... four children all this way?  How did their Mother do it?!  When I shared my observation with her, and asked how she was able to succeed in raising 4 amazing children, she told me she instilled in them family values, "I told them all they had was each other."  That emphasis on family values and LOVE shaped the way they live their lives and it's apparent to all whom cross their paths.

The other GINORMOUS story of a Mother's LOVE that comes from Letchworth Drive is Sarah Sanford.  Her an her husband, Vance, were unable to have children of their own when they decided to adopt.  Home to Letchworth Dr. came a little girl named Jane.  The family of three was complete ... almost!  And then the call that changed it all!  Jane's biological Mother was pregnant again and did not have the ability to care for the baby ... and the question asked, "are you interested in adopting again - Jane's biological brother?"  OF COURSE!  And the family of four was brought together!  (Read their story here in Sarah's own words!)

Jane & Jude's biological Mother not only was unable to care for her babies, she was also unable to care for herself while carrying them.  With no prenatal care or general well-being care for herself while pregnant, Jude suffered a stroke in utero which in turned caused him to develop a tremendous amount of physical challenges.  Told he may never walk, and a long laundry list of terrible expected physical outcomes, Sarah & Vance have tackled some hurdles no parent or child should have to face!  They have provided endless LOVE, support and dedication to caring for the children and especially aiding Jude in overcoming the tremendous hurdles he was faced with from the moment he was conceived.

That LOVE makes me speechless.  Sarah's LOVE brings me to tears.  She has a LOVE BIG enough for a family of four and carries the weight of their world on her back.  In and out of the hospital, to therapy, to medical treatments, up all night, and facing and dealing with the scariest healthcare situations for her little one you could imagine are all in a days work for this Momma.

Sarah's LOVE has changed the course of the world for Jane and Jude.  She has busted a cycle of unhealthy patterns and given these two lives a LOVE they would not have otherwise known in their early lives.  I have seen similar patterns broken in my own family - and all it takes is a Sarah that has a LOVE so BIG and STUBBORN it will not allow anything but LOVE to survive.

Thank you to the wonderful and amazing woman I call Mom.  Thank you to my beyond amazing 98 year old Granny for providing our family with generations of unwavering LOVE.  And most importantly THANK YOU to all the Mother's in my world that inspire me to be patient and LOVING during the sleep-deprived & challenging times.

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Four Generations on Ivan's maternal side!  photo taken by EmileeRamsierPhotography, April 2013

A little LOVE can ago a long way ... and so I ask, if you feel so inclined to donate a few dollars to the pot!  The goal is to raise some change to give Sarah Sanford a Mother's Day serenade!  With the monies collected she has to spend it on treating herself!!  Pedicure, nails, cleaning service, date out with her hubby, etc!  Visit here to donate

The sweetest Mom I know, on the street I grew up on with two of the LUCKIEST children in the whole wide world!  Jane, Sarah & Jude

Places to go in Columbus, Ohio with your 6-9 month old

A dear friend recently asked me for suggestions of places to take her darling 6 month old in Columbus, Ohio.  That got me thinking of all the FUN FIRST places and activities Ivan and I visited together ...

Walks.  Stroller walks.  Baby Bjorn carrier walks.  Walking Isabelle.  Walking around Franklin Park Conservatory – and it’s prime time for a trip there, the butterflies are a flutter!  The Columbus Zoo is also a wonderful place to walk.  Not too much (aside from the active fish) to attract the eye of a 6 month old, but it’s a great location to scope out different stroller models and other parenting accessories that may make future outings easier!  There are TONS of great parks and hiking trails and just in time for SPRING!

Gymboree Play & Music – located in Gahanna, Ohio – this is still one of our favorite places to play!  They have music, art and gym classes as well as open gym times that are open for all to play!  Level 1 is for ages 0-6 months, so they are ready for you when you get there!!

Columbus Metropolitan Library has wonderful storytime’s for all ages … starting with Baby Laptime, 0-18 months.  I remember being quite impressed at our first Baby Laptime.  They read books, played music and even had toys and musical instruments to interact with.

Mommy and Me classes … such as Mommy and me yoga offered by Yoga on High

Swimming.  While no activity lasts too long at approx. 6 months, it’s fun to get the sensation of water be it at home or away ... there are lots of neighborhood pools around and Ivan turned his water table into a swimming pool at first!

Painting.  Finger painting.  Painting with different objects – sponges, toys feet, cars wheels, cotton balls, anything you can imagine ...  This messy project might only last 60 seconds, but when you start little by little the love of colors, creating and stimulating the senses add up to a brilliant happy child!  Art with Anna is a Columbus, Ohio art studio for kids.  Ages 4+ can be dropped off for various events – and everyone is welcome during open studio sessions to partake in all the studio has to offer!

Get out and enjoy the world through your little one’s eyes … it’s a wonderful world out there!!

How to survive an Ohio winter with a toddler

It's March in Ohio.  Most days are cold and gray and all the pretty shoes are tucked away.  Everyone is starting to get restless.  Isabelle needs to run.  Ivan needs to run.  I need some fresh air ... AHHHH.  BUT the good news is I think Ivan and I discovered the secret to surviving the tail end of winter this weekend ... LOOK FOR SPRING! 

This past weekend Franklin Park Conservatory & Botanical Gardens opened the Blooms & Butterflies exhibit, which made it very easy to start LOOKING for spring!  We then went for a walk (in 45 degree heat wave) and found some great puddles to JUMP in!

Ivan getting the mileage out of his (waterproof) winter boots puddle jumping!  Him and Izzy have more in common every day!

ENJOY WHAT WINTER HAS TO OFFER ... we made sure to build a snow man, play in his sled (I am no Alaskan Husky, contrary to Ivan's ideas), go skiing, perfecting hot chocolate and getting super creative indoors.

Last ski of the season at Snowtrails in Mansfield, Ohio

I am definitely looking forward to spring break and the leaves to return to the trees ... yet in doing so, trying hard not to wish time away!!

taking a break from a tough game of indoor hockey to catch up on his YouTube ABC video's

There’s nothing terrible about the terrible two’s. Ivan the Terrible was MAGNIFICANT!

Just the title, “The Terrible Two’s” had me considering motherhood at a time … I guess it’s the word, TERRIBLE that I’m taking issue with (this coming from the mother of an Ivan, wink!). 

A lil’history lesson for you … Ivan the Terrible, Tsar of All the Russias, was known (in Russian) as Ivan Grozny.  Vladimir Dal (one of the greatest Russian language lexicographers) defines grozny as an adjective for tsars: "courageous, magnificent, magisterial, and keeping enemies in fear, but people in obedience"

V. Dal’s translation of TERRIBLE I can agree with in describing my sweet 2 year old.  COURAGEOUS: Yes!  A two year old will try just about anything!  MAGNIFICENT: Yes!  Ivan might be the most “impressively beautiful” creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.  MAGISTERIAL: Certainly!  His authority reigns the roost.  Re: FEARFUL ENEMIES/OBEDIENT FOLLOWERS (I’ll consider myself one in his kingdom): Defiantly!  Ringing ears is the most common punishment of not interpreting the cave-man language.    

The hardest part about being two (and dealing with a 2 year old) is communication!  They are just learning words and know exactly what they want and how they want it, it just doesn't come out of their mouths that way.  The challenge (and at times the frustration) is understanding the language I call, Cave-Man.   

An amazing & loving mother I know refers to her two-year old daughter as being in her TERRIFIC TWO’S #TerrificTwos ...  I just love that! 

 Terrific, Magnificent and Perfect in every way … And only 365 days to enjoy!

Am I creating a monster ... What is "spoiled," anyway?

Today I visited the State Fair twice!  That's a lot of corn dogs if you know what I mean ... In watching some of the competitions today, I could not help but feel bad for some of the animals.  This coming from a city girl that knows NOTHING about farming or raising farm animals.  I'm sure they were all properly loved and taken care of, but the simple tug on a horse that didn't want to go that way or a calf that wasn't interested in having his picture taken, or that brown bear that I KNOW didn't want to live in that trailer and travel the fair circuit made something inside of me squirm.  That got me to thinking about my own animal handling skills and knowledge (which more than a few around me say is ridiculous - and not in a good way). 

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Isabelle ... clearly, she knows how to work it

Isabelle, my 9 year old Yorkshire Terrier is Queen.  She knows it, I know it, the rest of the family has not quite digested it.  So then I go from fair animals --> my treatment of animals (and admittedly Isabelle is SPOILED which can be beyond annoying to say the least these days, however, she did come by it honestly) to --> my treatment of Ivan ... OH GOODNESS ... is he doomed to be spoiled rotten?!

I'm of the belief "he's only 1 year old for 365 days," kids should get to be kids, and so on ... Life is too hard, and too fast, too soon.  So, between hugs, I am going to do my best to try to let him feel some pain and experience some contrast so he's able to be a functioning adult.  But until then, until the adult part (which I have 17 years to prepare for), I am going to love him and hug him and as some would say, SPOIL HIM!  (Guess this is my first formal apology to his future wife.) 

I've recently added this book to my reading list - To Safe for Their Own Good by Michael Ungar - I'm looking forward to learning what he has to say ... 

To be alive, we do need to experience risk, loss, and contrast in order to expand ... I know this, OH MY do I know this, and how painful that sounds to watch!!!  ... Holy Motherhood ;)